


The Blue in an Ocean of Grey

by rosesisupposes



Series: Prompts for My Imaginary Sons [Sanders Sides Prompt Fills] [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Could be Pre-Romantic Logicality, Episode: MOVING ON Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia, Episode: MOVING ON Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup, Logan has FEELINGS, M/M, Platonic Logicality - Freeform, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt, logicality - Freeform, patton angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 19:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesisupposes/pseuds/rosesisupposes
Summary: Lyric Prompt challenge: After Moving On, Patton is still struggling. Not with the breakup, but with how he reacted to it.





	The Blue in an Ocean of Grey

**Author's Note:**

> From a lyric prompt challenge by spectralheartt on tumblr
> 
> "You are the dawn of a new day that's breaking / A masterpiece still in the making / The blue in an ocean of grey" [Wanderer's Lullaby, Adriana Figueroa]
> 
> Set in between _Moving On, Part 2_ and _12 Days of Christmas_

The mindscape was calm, finally. Ever since their last adventure with their host, and the emotional journey that had been going to Patton’s room, the constant aura of tension had faded. Virgil’s ruminations had quieted, Roman no longer had desperate brainstorms of grand gestures, and Logan’s frustration had been mitigated.

Patton was… mostly better. It still hurt, of course. He knew it would, and was dealing with that part of it. He knew it was okay to be sad, and let the others know he was. That wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that it was his room that had caused this. The very essence of himself and his traits had exacerbated the pain all the other sides and Thomas had felt and were feeling. What did it mean about him that he made their pain worse? What kind of family were they, if their father figure was the source of additional pain?

It was these thoughts that were driving him to spend as little time in his room as possible. Every mealtime or close-to-a-mealtime he was in the kitchen, looking up recipes, cooking, and cleaning up. He let the other sides help when they insisted, but preferred to do all these tasks himself, dragging them out for las long as he could. Every night, he suggested watching a movie, or playing a board game - anything to keep the others in the common spaces with him. And the later they were all in the common area, the less likely anyone was to notice that he was sleeping on the couch and had been for two weeks straight,

His plan had worked really well, right up until it didn’t.

Patton was doing dishes after dinner and brainstorming suggestions for a nightly activity. They’d played Monopoly the night before. Logan had banned the game forever after the second tableflip somehow led to the board being set on fire. So perhaps they needed something a little less… adversarial tonight. Oh! He knew! Friendship bracelets! With a grin, he dried the last plate and trotted into the living room, conjuring beads and string as he went.

“Kiddos! Guess who had the bestest idea ever to show that we’re all fam-ILY?” he called, his trademark cheery grin practically glowing in his face.

But the couch was nearly empty, save for Logan. “Evening, Patton. The others have retired for the evening already. Roman had an idea for a video and wanted to write out as much as he could now before it vanishes, which is quite wise of him. And Virgil realized that Thanksgiving is coming up and he needs to prepare himself now for all the, well, familial inquiries into Thomas’ love life.”

Patton felt his heart drop. “Oh. Well, Lo, would you like to make friendship bracelets? I have your favorite colors all ready to go!”

“I only stayed to inform you of the others’ whereabouts. I intend to use this rare quiet night to catch up on some reading and research possible astronomy classes for Thomas.” The logical side looked up and noted Patton’s crestfallen expression. “Not to worry, Patton. I think these bracelets would be an engaging and enjoyable activity on another night. We all just need time to pursue our own activities occasionally, nothing to be worried about.”

“Of- of course you all do! And that is definitely great and I support you all!” Patton tacked a smile back onto his face, fighting the weight in his stomach.

Logan stood to go back to his own room, but as he passed Patton, he must have seen the slight tremor in the paternal trait’s mouth.

“Patton - are you… quite alright? You know we all care for you, and needing our own time has nothing to do with you, right?”

“Yes, yes I know. I know you’re all my family. If you’re all going to doing your own things, I guess that just means I get to pick ALL the movies. Winnie the Pooh marathon, here I come!”

Logan frowned. “Something is off here. Patton, are you being insincere? You know what happens when you hide your emotions…”

His smile grew tighter, stretching like a rubber band about to snap. “Lo, I am fine-”

“Falsehood.”

Patton looked down. The logical side was right, as always. But how could he possibly tell the most rational trait about his feelings? How could Logan possibly understand what it was like to have his purpose perverted?

Cool fingers slid under his chin as Logan lifted his face to make eye contact. “Patton, I know I was not the best ally in our recent trials to help Thomas, but I have learned some truths about you, and the other sides, and Thomas himself. And the biggest one is that when any of us are having strong emotions, they will only cause more problems with lengthy concealment. If I can be of any assistance to you, I would like to do so.”

Patton sank into a chair, sighing. Logan mirrored him and waited.

“I… don’t like being in my room,” Patton whispered. “Not even the first wave of nostalgia feels good anymore. It just reminds me of how we got Thomas so caught up in memories, and it hurt him, and it hurt Virgil, and you…” he choked. The sight of Logan’s face as he yelled, the remorse when Patton had asked him to stop, the aggravation that had driven him to sink out - these images had been burned into the moral side’s brain ever since that day.

The remorse was back now. “Patton… that was not your fault. Nor was it justified. I should have known better than to abandon you all just because I was irritated, and I do regret it. If anything I said came off as blaming you, of all of us… I am truly sorry. You were doing your job as Thomas’ heart. And your room as an extension of yourself is his heart too. Preserving all that has been good, or meaningful, or emotional - that is what your room does, and what you do.”

“But if we hadn’t gone to my room, Virgil wouldn’t have had a panic attack, Thomas wouldn’t have been more in pain, we wouldn’t have called him accidentally…”

“And if we hadn’t gone to your room, we might still be feeling just as badly as we did a month ago,” Logan interrupted. “Patton, you were hurt possibly more than any of us by Thomas’ breakup. Roman feels the loss of romance, Virgil worries that we won’t recapture that feeling, but you - you feel it all. But despite that, you got us through it, and we are all healing now - you included.”

Patton took a deep breath. “But I should have done more, and helped Thomas avoid the added pain…”

“Pat, no. No ‘should haves’. All that matters is what you will do now, and tomorrow, and possible next time we face a crisis like this. None of us are perfect, but we are all learning. And that means you too. We don’t expect you to react perfectly all of the time or even most of the time. No matter what you do, you’re one of us, and you have a purpose. No matter what you do,” Logan smiled, and put a hand over Patton’s. “You’re family.”

**Author's Note:**

> Other works in this challenge are tagged as #songscribbles on spectralheartt's tumblr, check 'em out! 
> 
> [And while you're there, come say hi to me @rosesisupposes]


End file.
